Reality Check

Seriously, what have you been doing?!

Long time, no read. I realized it’s been more than a month since my last incoherent rambling and I don’t have a good excuse. Yeah, we’ve had a new roommate move in and she’s a bit of a hot mess. Heavy drinker and passes out in random spots throughout the house. She rarely gets out of pajamas each day and offers very little in the way of housework. Granted, she’s only two months old, so we’ll see if things change.

In all honesty, it’s an incredible transition. One day, your family multiplies and everything changes. Routines are whacked, norms are no longer and you start from scratch (again). Life now revolves around milk, diapers and sleep. That last one is funny—there seems to be more of it going around, but never at the right times. And you’re always a quarter millisecond from jumping out of bed, grabbing a bottle, checking if the baby is breathing or tripping over the dog and slamming your head on the bed frame as you silently scream in anguish. These first few weeks are such a blur and you’re just trying to survive and not screw up too badly.

More over, I feel more useless during this kid than the first two. I’m not sure if it’s experience, wisdom or just plain dominance, but my wife has owned 90% of baby life. Granted, her connection with the baby is unreal. Call it hormones or natural order, but she is a bonified newborn whisperer. The baby does little more than flail her limbs and squawk like a cockatoo, but my wife can translate it all. “She peed 12 minutes ago, is a little tired, and needs about two ounces. She also loves this episode of Bluey.” On the flip side, I’ve become the aloof cheerleader of the family, cleaning bottles 14 times a day and offering words of encouragement during midnight feedings. Somehow, I’ve gone backward as a father.

What this all boils down to is a new perspective. What I used to think was hard was actually quite easy. And what was once unthinkable is now the standard. Like anything, I’ll get better. At dadding. At writing. At general life-ing.

Thanks for sticking with me. The best is yet to come (probably).